buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
