Even the bartender felt bad for me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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