What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
