no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
