After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
please don't ironically join a cult
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