girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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