i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize