Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize