Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
