I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
vagina is talking i cant
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
