did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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