Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
