Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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