p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
