Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
