1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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