I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
