Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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