She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
