I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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