I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize