i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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