Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
