whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
