it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
