i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
