i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
