I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
