dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
