Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
