dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
