Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize