You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
