I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
