omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
