We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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