I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
ttyl tear gas
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
