oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
nutella sex= disaster
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
