Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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