If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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