So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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