Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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