PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
