take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
