I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My ass is underappreciated
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.