every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
me + whiskey = a bad person