hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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