I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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