I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
