he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
