DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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