I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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