I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize