This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
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I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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