i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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