DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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