What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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