Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
from now on my penis is your penis
this beer tastes like vomit already
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
