omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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