the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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