Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
