i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
