Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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