You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize